[ Zack can't imagine how there could be such a prevalent negative attitude toward Monsters when they also seemed to be so common in this world, but he doesn't know that much about the history of this place. Again, maybe it's something he should study up on, even if it also sounds like a drag.
Maybe he can just ask Cloud once they've met up, to see if he's got any insights. Sounds like a plan.
When Zack reaches the Coven, he has to ask a few people before he gets accurate directions to where the library is located on the compound, but he ultimately finds his way. Unsurprisingly, Cloud has beat him here.
When that tail starts wagging uncontrollably, he can't help but laugh. It's kind of nice to know that someone's that happy to see him, honestly.
Following their wrist bump, he heaves out a sigh and lets his arms fall back to his sides. ]
No. I mean, I heard they were a thing, but I didn't know how much they could be trusted. When I was here last time, the goblins were selling some pretty strange stuff...
[ It hadn't seemed worth the risk to mess around with something like that. ]
Too late. The tail is literally spinning in demented circles, half-circles, and. Honestly, Cloud... really, really, really doesn't like the fact that the wolf side of him is literally screaming out to just. Get low and show some stomach. It brays and it nags at the back of Cloud's mind, rising up into a single, spontaneous, uncontrolled thought.
Maybe you'll get patted if-
...No. Hell no.
Needless to say, that thought's dismissed. The tail though? Still hyperactively flopping around this way, that way, every damn way. Even when he looks, with some concern, to his friend.]
Yeah. Some lady there told me it was all knock-offs. [Something to do with horse piss. But... saying that around Zack... Yeah, no.] But the coven have the real deal. [Sight pause.] S'free too, so we should pick some up while we're here. It's fine for a couple months. I used to use it. Free, too.
[But.]
The bond stuff... It's kind of weird. But you should do that, too. It's a trade. Some other person gets your feelings. ...But it does slow things down. Changes, I mean.
[Another pause. And he seems to hesitate, almost shyly. Strange, how the sight of him made that part of him come back. In a sense, he almost feels like he did way back before Nibelheim, before everything went to shit.]
...I don't wanna tell you what to do. But it should be someone you trust.
[ Zack doesn't see any downside to free potions that will allow him to go longer without a bond. It's not that he's that bothered by the idea of bonding, in all honesty, but it is a little awkward to bring up. Especially when he still doesn't have the clearest idea of everything it entails.
Good thing that he's got Cloud to answer a lot of his questions. Zack's pretty sure he'd be completely lost without him. Or at least that he'd be relying on strangers a whole lot more.
Zack places a hand on his hip and quirks an easy smile. ]
In that case, you and Aerith are probably top of the list.
[ He knows there's a limit to how many bonds a person can take on, though. The orientation he'd been put through on his first night had covered that. ]
Someone gets my feelings... how's that work, anyway?
[ It's hard to imagine, so he'd rather hear a firsthand account. ]
[They're not that bad. And compared to the potions on their world, they're... kind of sweet, actually. Not as synthetic-tasting. But that's beside the point. They're a decent way to buy time. But not much of it. A few months is all anyone can hope to get off them.
His gaze drifts away as he considers it. Zack was stronger than most people. Maybe three months? Four? It's not like they can just see. Even if he's stronger, finding his limit would ...hurt. And honestly, that's something he doesn't want to entertain. Most people? Their call. It's not like he wishes ill on... anyone here, actually, but it's their choice to make- how much suffering they want to go through before they relent and find a bond. None of his business, either.
...But not Zack. He doesn't want to see him suffering. It'd be just like going through it himself, watching it in him. It's... probably a strange thing to think. But he doesn't give a damn. Not about that, at least.
Broken off mid-thought by what he says next, his gaze moves back to him- quickly- and his eyes widen. Surprise? Possibly. But it's mixed with something else- a quirk of the corner of his lip. A smile?
Is it some strange, selfish sense of satisfaction that causes it? ...He moves his head away, colour coming to his cheeks immediately- as if something, somewhere, inside his head is rebutting him for being so transparent.]
...I got a spot. [Three maximum. He's mostly done. But there's still one...] If you need it, I'll keep it for you.
[And.]
So, I'm bonded with Sephiroth. [Small pause.] At first, it was 'cause I thought he was... [Another.] You know. I wanted to keep an eye on him. Figured the last thing this world needed was him as we remember him, but also with the monster stuff being a part of it. If I had to take a hit for it? Fine. Better than the alternative.
[A shift from foot to foot. It started that way, sure. But then it changed. He turns his gaze back.]
Things're not how we remember 'em. You know that, right? Anyway... [Oh, this is embarrassing.] It's little things. Frequently. Like, sometimes, I'll find myself giving a damn about what chemicals're in the shampoo I'm using.
[Sigh.]
...But it's other things, too. I know how he's feeling, all the time. And I know he knows how I am. Sometimes, I'll get messages on my watch, asking about me. 'Cause what I feel affects him, too. So it's important, that you choose someone that-
[ Cloud is just a second or two too late in bowing his head to hide that red on his face, and while Zack smiles to himself, he isn't going to call him out too hard right now. Especially since it seems like Cloud will be doing him a favor by saving a spot for him, which is a pretty big deal given that they've got a maximum of three.
Not that Zack can imagine that Cloud has found an abundance of people that he wants to bond with, but still. It's a big gesture and he isn't going to downplay that.
Before he can actually react to that offer beyond the briefest of nods, though, Cloud comes out with a more shocking piece of information. He's got a bond with Sephiroth of all people? Though as Cloud explains, it does make a little bit more sense. He'd wanted to keep an eye on Sephiroth to make sure that he wasn't going to lose it and put the people of this city in danger. Having a direct line to someone's emotional state would make that job a whole lot easier.
It's got to be quite the experience to have at least some idea of what Sephiroth was feeling at all times. Zack frowns, a flash of worry crossing his face, but Cloud seems to have handled it all so far. The remark about shampoo, of all things, causes him to raise his eyebrows in a hint of amusement. ]
Yeah, seems like you'd want to be bonded with someone you really trusted. You know, to feel your feelings and not take advantage of that.
[ He crosses his arms with a sense of finality, inclining his head forward as he smiles. ]
So yeah, if you want to save that spot for me? I'd appreciate it.
[ Curious as he is to ask more about Cloud's bond with Sephiroth, he figures he needs to focus more on his own situation first. ]
I'll need to bond with a Witch too, though, right? ... Do you know if Aerith's got room?
[ Zack would not at all be surprised if she's already got three bonds in place, but it does seem a little less awkward to find out via Cloud, rather than asking her directly. ]
[Right. Sephiroth- They hadn't spoken about him yet. He intended to- of course he intended to, but talking to Zack on arrival meant other things got in the way. Important things. ...Well, more important things, especially considering that a lot between them was... unspoken, unrecalled. Unsaid. And it really needed discussion far before anything else.
So.]
He's different. To how he was in Nibelheim. He... [No. That's not accurate. He exhales, determined to get this right.] I hate him, for what he did to it, to Tifa, to you. And I hate what became of him all the more. Remember, I said about Jenova using his body? Aerith... [He trails off. That's still painful.]
...Then finding the real him in the Northern Crater, that rebuilt body. [Funny. That rebuilt body, that single element of him, his will, that the Lifestream couldn't erode away... it felt more like him than any form Jenova took. The worst of it? What'd been done to him made him know that thing in there was him. Far beyond what any illusion could portray.
...Moving on, because that's still vaguely disconcerting-]
I originally bonded with him to try and work out what he was trying to pull, acting like the way he had before he lost his mind. But he's from a different point in time. He really is. He hasn't done anything. I can't feel the same way about him here.
[Faint pause.]
... I wanted to try and get him to agree to leave Nibelheim, before you guys went into the reactor. 'Cause that's where it all happened, right? He saw that thing in there, realized professor Hojo was doing human experiments, and figured he was one of them. Then, he read professor Gast's old notes, and got the wrong idea.
[The Cetra thing. If Zack hadn't surmised from their previous conversation, Yep. Not A Cetra!]
That way... if he deserted at least somewhere before any of that, there might be some version of our world where all of that didn't happen. Where you didn't get hurt, we didn't get seperated, and where...
[Tifa didn't almost die and wind up assisting her local eco-terrorists. Where Aerith wouldn't wind up dead either. But.]
Didn't count on him working things out for himself, though. I told him everything. [Faint pause.] ... He hasn't said anything. But he's the person he used to be. I know, because I can tell through our bond. He hates what happened to him just as much as I do.
[Big breath. That was a lot, but it was crucial that Zack understood. And!]
...Yeah, you'll need a witch. There's... [A small pause.] Yeah. I'm pretty sure she'd want to have you. [Faint, questioning look.] You uh, talked to her yet? About...
[A sharp pain in his head. He winces, but shows little other reaction. Because this is important, and all. ]
[ Much like their conversation the morning that Zack arrived (the second time), this is a lot to take in. Zack's aware that Cloud isn't usually the type to say more than he has to, so the fact that he's explaining this much is a sign of how important it is that they're all on the same page. And really, Zack wants to hear it because he still has little idea of what to make of Sephiroth in this place.
It's obvious already that he hasn't lost his mind yet. The concern is more of what might happen if he learns the same things that he did in that basement, and if he was left to stew on it. The situations are completely different, though, and it seems that Cloud already explained everything.
Even with that, Sephiroth hasn't lost a hold on his own sanity. It really came down to who broke it to him, and how. Along with not getting the wrong idea and then it being too late for anyone to talk reason to him. Zack can't help but feel a little bit of hope, knowing that Sephiroth has more of the story and hasn't completely gone off the deep end. It's true that they can't hold his future actions against him, either. He's just got to learn how to reconcile the two things.
The idea that Sephiroth could go back and somehow change things is hard to imagine. How is that even possible? Would he really remember what he'd learned in this place if he went home? He'd essentially be changing the future, and what would that mean for Zack as he is now? Or is he doomed to be trapped in this world forever, regardless of what happens.
Zack remains silent for longer than he usually would after Cloud's done speaking, arms crossed as he stares down toward the floor. The library is still waiting for them to enter and read all about how chimera work, but it's clear they've gotten sidetracked.
But it's Cloud's final question that really throws him. Zack's head snaps up and he stares Cloud in the face, mako eyes meeting another set as he tries to process what Cloud even means. Why he never came back... ]
I mean... she knows what eventually happened to me. I talked to her a little about those five years, why I never wrote back. She didn't hold it against me or anything. [ How could she, when he'd literally been either in a tube or on a table, being experimented on? ] So yeah, I think she'd be willing to make a Bond. Just gotta ask.
...For the longest time, I figured this place was a good thing. That him and me being here meant that the Planet... Our planet, could be safe. Neither of us're good for it. And this one's dying anyway. I figured if I could keep him here, stay here too, then...
[Defeatist. A flawed sentiment too. If anything, because of the situation he'd came from. Because he, himself, without manipulation, doomed the planet by handing over the Black Materia to him. He says it lowly, carefully- if anything, because this was his first time saying what'd been his plan to anyone, even Aerith. Even Tifa.
...Even Nier. Who... Given his situation, everything he'd done to his own world, got it better than anyone.
But Zack's different. Cloud's unguarded around him. There's no reason to keep anything from him. Ever.]
...It was a bad idea. This way, telling Sephiroth everything... [Slight pause.] ...I don't get this kind of thing. Different timelines, all that shit. But someone explained it all to me. If Aerith's from my future, Sephiroth's from my past, then all of us're living. At once. Just normally, we'd never know.
[ No-one knows whether or not going back means forgetting what happened here, but people go back. If Sephiroth remembered...]
...It's worth a shot. Telling him everything, letting him know the documents in the bottom of that mansion're bullshit, then it gives him a choice. He could leave Nibelheim before you guys went into the reactor. Hell, he could go back and do the exact same thing. But he ain't gonna buy all of that stuff about being a Cetra. And if he remembers...
[Identical eyes meet, as he looks into Zack's face.]
... He won't lose it. Then some version of you, somewhere, doesn't get hurt. Tifa doesn't either- We don't get split up, and in some version of our Planet, Nibelheim doesn't happen. That version of you probably gets to see Aerith again, too. We won't see it. That happening doesn't mean our situations change. But...
[A small shake of the head. And his eyes drop.]
Somewhere, things don't go to shit. Worth it, if you ask me.
[And. Importantly:
I'm glad though. That... she doesn't hold it against you. [Another quiet pause.] ...Really glad.
[ While there's really no arguing the point that Sephiroth was bad for the Planet, Zack doesn't think the same can be said for Cloud. Even having heard what he did with the Black Materia, there had been extenuating circumstances. Between the mako poisoning, the confusion about where he came from and the holes in his memory, he hadn't been in a good mental place when he did that. Obviously. But...
He saves the planet. Aerith had said as much, which means that like it or not, he'll need to go back at some point and fulfill that destiny.
For now, though, they're in a strange sort of limbo, which is granting them the chance to right certain wrongs and clarify things for each other. Explaining things to Sephiroth must have been cathartic, and while it might not actually change anything for them back home, Cloud may be right. There could be some other version of events, which may or may not happen. They won't see it.
It's pretty selfless, wanting to try and make things better for some other "versions" of them. Zack has no idea if that's how it works either, but he can see why Cloud would want to take the chance to alter how everything plays out, if he could. ]
I guess... [ Zack tilts his head up toward the high ceiling and lets out a sigh. ] We'll never know for sure if it leads to anything, but I think it's good you told him anyway. I haven't really known how to behave around him, knowing everything that I do and wanting to keep things from him. Especially knowing what happens to Aerith...
[ He trails off and heaves out a sigh. That's the one thing he can't forget, nor does he really want to. It wouldn't be fair to her. ]
It'll be a little easier to talk to him now that he knows what happens, I think. Anyway!
[ Zack shakes his head a few times as if trying to rid it of all these heavy thoughts, and steps forward to clap a hand on Cloud's shoulder and then guide him toward the waiting doors. ]
[It sounds like a cop-out. Some lame form of defence for someone that sure as hell didn't deserve it. A betrayal, almost. But... It wasn't. If anything, the truth made it all the worse. It meant that the only one to blame was himself.]
He was dead. The man we were chasing across the world wasn't a man. It was Jenova, using his appearance and Hojo's experiments to rejoin itself.
[It plays through his head, briefly. The recordings at Icicle. Ifalna describing Jenova using illusions of her race's dead relatives to lure them in. This... wasn't that different.]
The real him was in the Northern Crater all along. I felt it. When I saw him, [What was done to him. The experiments. The pulling. Every bone in his body knew. And the others seemed as nothing.] I knew. ...But...
[Could a singular aspect of a person be considered a person? The Lifestream stripped away everything but the one thing that wouldn't die. His will. The same thing that rebuilt his body, that stayed there, like some nightmare until...
A shake of the head. That's a thought for later.
A hand slaps against his shoulder, and lightly presses him toward the doors. Right, the reason they were here. Zack's... changes. Best they focused on that. It's their immediate concern, far more than speculating about anything else. ]
[ That's a detail that Zack hadn't known or even expected. Aerith hadn't explained it in that much detail, either because there hadn't been time or because she hadn't known herself. He could ask her about it, maybe, but he's also not sure that he needs to bring her death up to her again.
Jenova. Even now, after Cloud's explained some of it, Zack doesn't fully understand what it is or why it decided to try and destroy their planet. Knowing that Sephiroth had been infused with its cells doesn't make him feel any better about it -- he can understand why learning about his true origins had put Sephiroth into such a vulnerable place.
So, it hadn't been him. All this time Zack's been holding that against him, but if Cloud's saying this, it has to be true. There's no reason for him to lie about it. ]
Huh. Guess there's still a lot I don't completely understand.
[ He feels a little like his head is spinning. There's a lot for him to chew over, but for now shifting gears to something else will allow everything he's learned to marinate in the back of his mind for a while.
So, with a nod, he enters the library, figuring that Cloud will direct him toward the information that he needs. ]
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no subject
Maybe he can just ask Cloud once they've met up, to see if he's got any insights. Sounds like a plan.
When Zack reaches the Coven, he has to ask a few people before he gets accurate directions to where the library is located on the compound, but he ultimately finds his way. Unsurprisingly, Cloud has beat him here.
When that tail starts wagging uncontrollably, he can't help but laugh. It's kind of nice to know that someone's that happy to see him, honestly.
Following their wrist bump, he heaves out a sigh and lets his arms fall back to his sides. ]
No. I mean, I heard they were a thing, but I didn't know how much they could be trusted. When I was here last time, the goblins were selling some pretty strange stuff...
[ It hadn't seemed worth the risk to mess around with something like that. ]
no subject
Too late. The tail is literally spinning in demented circles, half-circles, and. Honestly, Cloud... really, really, really doesn't like the fact that the wolf side of him is literally screaming out to just. Get low and show some stomach. It brays and it nags at the back of Cloud's mind, rising up into a single, spontaneous, uncontrolled thought.
Maybe you'll get patted if-
...No. Hell no.
Needless to say, that thought's dismissed. The tail though? Still hyperactively flopping around this way, that way, every damn way. Even when he looks, with some concern, to his friend.]
Yeah. Some lady there told me it was all knock-offs. [Something to do with horse piss. But... saying that around Zack... Yeah, no.] But the coven have the real deal. [Sight pause.] S'free too, so we should pick some up while we're here. It's fine for a couple months. I used to use it. Free, too.
[But.]
The bond stuff... It's kind of weird. But you should do that, too. It's a trade. Some other person gets your feelings. ...But it does slow things down. Changes, I mean.
[Another pause. And he seems to hesitate, almost shyly. Strange, how the sight of him made that part of him come back. In a sense, he almost feels like he did way back before Nibelheim, before everything went to shit.]
...I don't wanna tell you what to do. But it should be someone you trust.
no subject
Good thing that he's got Cloud to answer a lot of his questions. Zack's pretty sure he'd be completely lost without him. Or at least that he'd be relying on strangers a whole lot more.
Zack places a hand on his hip and quirks an easy smile. ]
In that case, you and Aerith are probably top of the list.
[ He knows there's a limit to how many bonds a person can take on, though. The orientation he'd been put through on his first night had covered that. ]
Someone gets my feelings... how's that work, anyway?
[ It's hard to imagine, so he'd rather hear a firsthand account. ]
no subject
His gaze drifts away as he considers it. Zack was stronger than most people. Maybe three months? Four? It's not like they can just see. Even if he's stronger, finding his limit would ...hurt. And honestly, that's something he doesn't want to entertain. Most people? Their call. It's not like he wishes ill on... anyone here, actually, but it's their choice to make- how much suffering they want to go through before they relent and find a bond. None of his business, either.
...But not Zack. He doesn't want to see him suffering. It'd be just like going through it himself, watching it in him. It's... probably a strange thing to think. But he doesn't give a damn. Not about that, at least.
Broken off mid-thought by what he says next, his gaze moves back to him- quickly- and his eyes widen. Surprise? Possibly. But it's mixed with something else- a quirk of the corner of his lip. A smile?
Is it some strange, selfish sense of satisfaction that causes it?
...He moves his head away, colour coming to his cheeks immediately- as if something, somewhere, inside his head is rebutting him for being so transparent.]
...I got a spot. [Three maximum. He's mostly done. But there's still one...] If you need it, I'll keep it for you.
[And.]
So, I'm bonded with Sephiroth. [Small pause.] At first, it was 'cause I thought he was... [Another.] You know. I wanted to keep an eye on him. Figured the last thing this world needed was him as we remember him, but also with the monster stuff being a part of it. If I had to take a hit for it? Fine. Better than the alternative.
[A shift from foot to foot. It started that way, sure. But then it changed. He turns his gaze back.]
Things're not how we remember 'em. You know that, right? Anyway... [Oh, this is embarrassing.] It's little things. Frequently. Like, sometimes, I'll find myself giving a damn about what chemicals're in the shampoo I'm using.
[Sigh.]
...But it's other things, too. I know how he's feeling, all the time. And I know he knows how I am. Sometimes, I'll get messages on my watch, asking about me. 'Cause what I feel affects him, too. So it's important, that you choose someone that-
[Won't turn ou into a wreck.]
...You know.
no subject
Not that Zack can imagine that Cloud has found an abundance of people that he wants to bond with, but still. It's a big gesture and he isn't going to downplay that.
Before he can actually react to that offer beyond the briefest of nods, though, Cloud comes out with a more shocking piece of information. He's got a bond with Sephiroth of all people? Though as Cloud explains, it does make a little bit more sense. He'd wanted to keep an eye on Sephiroth to make sure that he wasn't going to lose it and put the people of this city in danger. Having a direct line to someone's emotional state would make that job a whole lot easier.
It's got to be quite the experience to have at least some idea of what Sephiroth was feeling at all times. Zack frowns, a flash of worry crossing his face, but Cloud seems to have handled it all so far. The remark about shampoo, of all things, causes him to raise his eyebrows in a hint of amusement. ]
Yeah, seems like you'd want to be bonded with someone you really trusted. You know, to feel your feelings and not take advantage of that.
[ He crosses his arms with a sense of finality, inclining his head forward as he smiles. ]
So yeah, if you want to save that spot for me? I'd appreciate it.
[ Curious as he is to ask more about Cloud's bond with Sephiroth, he figures he needs to focus more on his own situation first. ]
I'll need to bond with a Witch too, though, right? ... Do you know if Aerith's got room?
[ Zack would not at all be surprised if she's already got three bonds in place, but it does seem a little less awkward to find out via Cloud, rather than asking her directly. ]
no subject
So.]
He's different. To how he was in Nibelheim. He... [No. That's not accurate. He exhales, determined to get this right.] I hate him, for what he did to it, to Tifa, to you. And I hate what became of him all the more. Remember, I said about Jenova using his body? Aerith... [He trails off. That's still painful.]
...Then finding the real him in the Northern Crater, that rebuilt body. [Funny. That rebuilt body, that single element of him, his will, that the Lifestream couldn't erode away... it felt more like him than any form Jenova took. The worst of it? What'd been done to him made him know that thing in there was him. Far beyond what any illusion could portray.
...Moving on, because that's still vaguely disconcerting-]
I originally bonded with him to try and work out what he was trying to pull, acting like the way he had before he lost his mind. But he's from a different point in time. He really is. He hasn't done anything. I can't feel the same way about him here.
[Faint pause.]
... I wanted to try and get him to agree to leave Nibelheim, before you guys went into the reactor. 'Cause that's where it all happened, right? He saw that thing in there, realized professor Hojo was doing human experiments, and figured he was one of them. Then, he read professor Gast's old notes, and got the wrong idea.
[The Cetra thing. If Zack hadn't surmised from their previous conversation, Yep. Not A Cetra!]
That way... if he deserted at least somewhere before any of that, there might be some version of our world where all of that didn't happen. Where you didn't get hurt, we didn't get seperated, and where...
[Tifa didn't almost die and wind up assisting her local eco-terrorists. Where Aerith wouldn't wind up dead either. But.]
Didn't count on him working things out for himself, though. I told him everything. [Faint pause.] ... He hasn't said anything. But he's the person he used to be. I know, because I can tell through our bond. He hates what happened to him just as much as I do.
[Big breath. That was a lot, but it was crucial that Zack understood. And!]
...Yeah, you'll need a witch. There's... [A small pause.] Yeah. I'm pretty sure she'd want to have you. [Faint, questioning look.] You uh, talked to her yet? About...
[A sharp pain in his head.
He winces, but shows little other reaction. Because this is important, and all. ]
...Why you never came back?
[Because he was lying low, ...right?]
no subject
It's obvious already that he hasn't lost his mind yet. The concern is more of what might happen if he learns the same things that he did in that basement, and if he was left to stew on it. The situations are completely different, though, and it seems that Cloud already explained everything.
Even with that, Sephiroth hasn't lost a hold on his own sanity. It really came down to who broke it to him, and how. Along with not getting the wrong idea and then it being too late for anyone to talk reason to him. Zack can't help but feel a little bit of hope, knowing that Sephiroth has more of the story and hasn't completely gone off the deep end. It's true that they can't hold his future actions against him, either. He's just got to learn how to reconcile the two things.
The idea that Sephiroth could go back and somehow change things is hard to imagine. How is that even possible? Would he really remember what he'd learned in this place if he went home? He'd essentially be changing the future, and what would that mean for Zack as he is now? Or is he doomed to be trapped in this world forever, regardless of what happens.
Zack remains silent for longer than he usually would after Cloud's done speaking, arms crossed as he stares down toward the floor. The library is still waiting for them to enter and read all about how chimera work, but it's clear they've gotten sidetracked.
But it's Cloud's final question that really throws him. Zack's head snaps up and he stares Cloud in the face, mako eyes meeting another set as he tries to process what Cloud even means. Why he never came back... ]
I mean... she knows what eventually happened to me. I talked to her a little about those five years, why I never wrote back. She didn't hold it against me or anything. [ How could she, when he'd literally been either in a tube or on a table, being experimented on? ] So yeah, I think she'd be willing to make a Bond. Just gotta ask.
no subject
[Defeatist. A flawed sentiment too. If anything, because of the situation he'd came from. Because he, himself, without manipulation, doomed the planet by handing over the Black Materia to him. He says it lowly, carefully- if anything, because this was his first time saying what'd been his plan to anyone, even Aerith. Even Tifa.
...Even Nier. Who...
Given his situation, everything he'd done to his own world, got it better than anyone.
But Zack's different. Cloud's unguarded around him. There's no reason to keep anything from him. Ever.]
...It was a bad idea. This way, telling Sephiroth everything... [Slight pause.] ...I don't get this kind of thing. Different timelines, all that shit. But someone explained it all to me. If Aerith's from my future, Sephiroth's from my past, then all of us're living. At once. Just normally, we'd never know.
[ No-one knows whether or not going back means forgetting what happened here, but people go back. If Sephiroth remembered...]
...It's worth a shot. Telling him everything, letting him know the documents in the bottom of that mansion're bullshit, then it gives him a choice. He could leave Nibelheim before you guys went into the reactor. Hell, he could go back and do the exact same thing. But he ain't gonna buy all of that stuff about being a Cetra. And if he remembers...
[Identical eyes meet, as he looks into Zack's face.]
... He won't lose it.
Then some version of you, somewhere, doesn't get hurt. Tifa doesn't either- We don't get split up, and in some version of our Planet, Nibelheim doesn't happen. That version of you probably gets to see Aerith again, too. We won't see it. That happening doesn't mean our situations change. But...
[A small shake of the head. And his eyes drop.]
Somewhere, things don't go to shit. Worth it, if you ask me.
[And. Importantly:
I'm glad though. That... she doesn't hold it against you. [Another quiet pause.] ...Really glad.
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He saves the planet. Aerith had said as much, which means that like it or not, he'll need to go back at some point and fulfill that destiny.
For now, though, they're in a strange sort of limbo, which is granting them the chance to right certain wrongs and clarify things for each other. Explaining things to Sephiroth must have been cathartic, and while it might not actually change anything for them back home, Cloud may be right. There could be some other version of events, which may or may not happen. They won't see it.
It's pretty selfless, wanting to try and make things better for some other "versions" of them. Zack has no idea if that's how it works either, but he can see why Cloud would want to take the chance to alter how everything plays out, if he could. ]
I guess... [ Zack tilts his head up toward the high ceiling and lets out a sigh. ] We'll never know for sure if it leads to anything, but I think it's good you told him anyway. I haven't really known how to behave around him, knowing everything that I do and wanting to keep things from him. Especially knowing what happens to Aerith...
[ He trails off and heaves out a sigh. That's the one thing he can't forget, nor does he really want to. It wouldn't be fair to her. ]
It'll be a little easier to talk to him now that he knows what happens, I think. Anyway!
[ Zack shakes his head a few times as if trying to rid it of all these heavy thoughts, and steps forward to clap a hand on Cloud's shoulder and then guide him toward the waiting doors. ]
Let's go take a peek.
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[It sounds like a cop-out. Some lame form of defence for someone that sure as hell didn't deserve it. A betrayal, almost. But...
It wasn't. If anything, the truth made it all the worse. It meant that the only one to blame was himself.]
He was dead. The man we were chasing across the world wasn't a man. It was Jenova, using his appearance and Hojo's experiments to rejoin itself.
[It plays through his head, briefly. The recordings at Icicle. Ifalna describing Jenova using illusions of her race's dead relatives to lure them in. This... wasn't that different.]
The real him was in the Northern Crater all along. I felt it. When I saw him, [What was done to him. The experiments. The pulling. Every bone in his body knew. And the others seemed as nothing.] I knew. ...But...
[Could a singular aspect of a person be considered a person? The Lifestream stripped away everything but the one thing that wouldn't die. His will. The same thing that rebuilt his body, that stayed there, like some nightmare until...
A shake of the head. That's a thought for later.
A hand slaps against his shoulder, and lightly presses him toward the doors. Right, the reason they were here. Zack's... changes. Best they focused on that. It's their immediate concern, far more than speculating about anything else. ]
Yeah, you're right. Let's go.
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Jenova. Even now, after Cloud's explained some of it, Zack doesn't fully understand what it is or why it decided to try and destroy their planet. Knowing that Sephiroth had been infused with its cells doesn't make him feel any better about it -- he can understand why learning about his true origins had put Sephiroth into such a vulnerable place.
So, it hadn't been him. All this time Zack's been holding that against him, but if Cloud's saying this, it has to be true. There's no reason for him to lie about it. ]
Huh. Guess there's still a lot I don't completely understand.
[ He feels a little like his head is spinning. There's a lot for him to chew over, but for now shifting gears to something else will allow everything he's learned to marinate in the back of his mind for a while.
So, with a nod, he enters the library, figuring that Cloud will direct him toward the information that he needs. ]